The Dunne Family - North Canterbury
The Dunne Family live in North Canterbury, just outside of Christchurch. Emma and Steve are the proud parents to eight children, including now 17-year-old Promise who they adopted in 2007. Promise was born ten weeks premature, and had leukaemia, problems with her heart, lungs and liver, and Down Syndrome. She wasn't meant to live past one year old but with the love and support of her family and the medical community, has defied the odds time and time again. Her mum Emma shares their journey here, including the wonderful support they have received from RMHC NZ.
Ronald Mcdonald House is one of those awkward places you highly revere, but inwardly hope you never have to go to. Because if you do, it means that the options for your child to get medical treatment in your town are over. They must travel to one of the few specialist hospitals in New Zealand. Away from friends and family and any support structure you would have relied on at home.
Our first experience of Ronald Macdonald House was very soon after we adopted our daughter Promise. When we lived in Taumarunui, our daughter was just 12 weeks old but was not feeding well, and the Plunket nurse came over to check on her. She said she thought Promise's heart was failing and to get in the car and not stop until we reached Starship Hospital in Auckland. She helped me pack her up in a flurry, and I remember she threw her Plunket book on the back seat and said, 'drive!'
I arrived weary and nervous four hours later, and we were admitted to the heart ward. My husband had stayed home in Taumarunui with our other six children. Promise's heart was failing, and her lungs were filling with fluid. She had lifesaving surgery a week later. Promise had been born ten weeks' premature and had heart and lung problems and a transient form of leukaemia. Her bowel had burst at three weeks old causing infection, and her liver was not working correctly. The doctors had warned us that she would not live beyond two years of age but desperately needed parents to love her as she was not thriving in the neonatal ward without someone to love her.
No one ever wants to be put in the position where you have to leave your home, job and family to be with a very sick child out of town, especially as often you are alone on this mission as your partner or extended family are taking care of the rest of your family! This is where the Ronald McDonald house staff excel. They are trained to care for caregivers and their whanau under often intense emotional situations.
I have walked into the House many a time, tired and achy from sitting and hovering over a hospital bed, emotionally drained from trying to entertain and comfort Promise. Finally, I could sleep in peace, take a hot shower and eat. You see when you spend all day on the wards where medical regimes, alarming machines and often painful procedures happen you are utterly spent. By the time you get to leave the ward and walk into Ronald MacDonald House, you are emotionally and physically exhausted. But there is always a smell of something cooking or some fresh baking to nibble on. There are often young children playing in the lounges, some bald from cancer treatment or swinging their various tubes over their shoulders to run after a friend. Promise loved the ukulele classes that happened once a week. She would always laugh and sing, however unwell or in pain she felt. Parents can prepare a home-cooked meal and strive to create a small amount of normalcy in a chaotic and fearful season of their lives. Sometimes it's just a knowing glance over the jug to another mum equally tired and a smile that says you are not alone in the this.
On some evenings, parents are treated to a local business coming in to prepare a feast. My daughter Promise still talks about these meals and the lovely desserts. It is an incredible gift to parents who have been on the wards all day. We would all get excited on family dinner nights. It is such a blessing in such a challenging moment in life. Somehow, these lavish dinners and desserts make you feel like you have not been forgotten and that the community has come to cheer you on along this marathon of a journey. 
One particularly tough time for me was the day our daughter, Promise went into surgery to repair her heart, and on the same day my mum suddenly passed away back in the UK. There were no words to describe how torn I felt. I had a family in Taumarunui that was missing us dreadfully and crying on the phone each night. I had my dad and sister in the UK asking if I was coming home for the funeral and I had a dear sweet, new adopted baby who really needed her mum right now to see her through this surgery.
I remember coming down to reception the morning of Promise's surgery, and this wonderful staff lady pulled me aside, she had heard of my dilemma and asked for my father's contact details and address. She just said, “ I will sort out something beautiful to honour your mum, leave it with me. You go and be with Promise.” A beautiful card and flowers arrived for my mum's funeral, and I was by Promise's side for her recovery.
You see, although we never want any of this to happen to us personally, sometimes in life, situations occur, and however strong and capable we are, it is too much. It is too hard, and we need someone to come alongside us and say, “hey, let me help with this load”. This is the practical blessing that is Ronald McDonald House. It is not a motel or hospital accommodation. It is a strong and versatile community of caring humans who meet you on a road you did not intend to travel. There, they meet you with grace, empathy and real assistance.
Promise has had many surgeries, some to her heart and bowel, but primarily orthopaedic. She will go back to Starship in two weeks for another surgery to shorten her left leg by 3cm. Promise is excited about wearing fashionable shoes that don’t have to be built up now she is a teenager. Yes, she certainly lived beyond two! Still, more than anything, she is excited about Ronald McDonald House desserts, Radio Lollipop and a whole lot of fun.