Te Hana's Journey

For Jasmin and Joe, life in rural North Canterbury was busy, full and exactly as they had imagined it would be. They had three young children, had recently welcomed another healthy baby into the family, and were settling into life together when another surprise arrived. "I'll admit it took me a little while to wrap my head around the idea of a fourth child," Jasmin says with a smile. "But before long, we were excited. We were imagining what life would look like as a family of six."

Then, at their 20-week scan, everything changed. Their unborn daughter, Te Hana, was diagnosed with a complex congenital heart condition. Within moments, the future they had pictured disappeared, replaced by specialist appointments, scans and medical terminology they had never expected to learn. "Our fetal medicine doctor explained that Te Hana would need to be born at Starship Hospital in Auckland," Jasmin recalls. "He also told us to prepare for the possibility that we could be there for up to six months. That news completely rocked our little world."

The diagnosis brought far more than medical uncertainty. Living in Cheviot, with three young children, jobs, school commitments and a home to manage, the practical reality of relocating to Auckland felt almost impossible. "We weren't just trying to understand our daughter's condition," Jasmin says. "We were trying to work out how on earth we were going to keep our family together."

It was during this time they were introduced to Ronald McDonald House Charities New Zealand. "It was an organisation I'd heard of," she says, "but never imagined we would need." Unlike many families who arrive at Ronald McDonald House suddenly after an emergency, Jasmin and Joe had months to prepare. Yet that extra time didn't make the decision any easier. "We spent months worrying and agonising over every possible scenario," Jasmin says. "Should we separate our family? Should Joe stay home with the children while I went to Auckland? Or do we take the risk and move everyone together?" For Joe, the uncertainty was particularly difficult. "He's a big, staunch Māori man whose family is his whole world," Jasmin says. "He also carries a fair bit of anxiety. He doesn't enjoy staying away from home, being around lots of people or asking for help. On paper, packing up our lives and moving across the country to live with strangers while caring for a medically fragile newborn sounded like a recipe for disaster."

In the months before they left, Jasmin called Ronald McDonald House repeatedly, asking questions and trying to picture what life might look like. "Finding out there was a school at Domain House where our older children could continue their learning gave me enormous reassurance," she says. "Joe likes to have a plan, and the uncertainty was really hard. But as it turned out, we had absolutely nothing to worry about." The family packed up their lives and moved to Auckland. Just one week later, Te Hana was born.

What followed was one of the most challenging seasons their family has ever faced. "I honestly don't know what we would have done without Ronald McDonald House," Jasmin says. Te Hana spent more than a month in Starship's Paediatric Intensive Care Unit. Every day revolved around the short walk between Ronald McDonald House and the hospital. "We'd spend hours by her bedside, then walk back to the House to rest, regroup and try to keep life as normal as possible for our other children." As Te Hana grew stronger, Jasmin moved into the Heart Ward to room in with her. Then, just before Christmas, Te Hana was finally discharged to the family's apartment at Grafton Mews Ronald McDonald House. "For the first time, she felt like a real member of our family," Jasmin says. "It was her first experience of a home outside of the hospital."

After spending her entire life surrounded by monitors, machines and medical staff, Te Hana was finally with her family. "All six of us slept in one room," Jasmin laughs. "And we absolutely loved it." Looking back, those weeks remain some of Jasmin's favourite memories. "Not because they were easy, but because after months of uncertainty, we finally got to simply be together as a family." Eventually, the family returned home to Cheviot. But just two weeks later, Te Hana was admitted to Christchurch Hospital before being flown back to Starship Hospital in Auckland. Along the way, the family stayed at Ronald McDonald House in Christchurch before returning once again to Auckland's Domain House.

Since then, hospital admissions, surgeries, specialist appointments and unexpected complications have become part of everyday life. "Te Hana and I have now spent 178 nights away from home," Jasmin says. "Many of those nights, Joe and our other children have been nearby at one of the Ronald McDonald Houses." Earlier this year, the family received another difficult update. "We were told Te Hana has more procedures and surgeries ahead of her and will continue to be what they call a 'frequent flyer'. That's not something any parent hopes to hear, but it also means Ronald McDonald House will continue to be part of our story."

For Jasmin, the House has provided far more than accommodation close to hospital. "During the hardest time our family has ever experienced, what made the biggest difference wasn't just having somewhere to stay," she says. "It was how we were treated." "We were never made to feel like a burden. We were never made to feel like a charity case. Every member of staff treated us with kindness, respect and dignity." The apartments and rooms that became temporary homes gave the family something they desperately needed — the chance to remain together. "They were warm, welcoming and had everything we needed," Jasmin says. "But more importantly, they gave us somewhere we could still be a family."

For families facing the unimaginable, those moments of togetherness can make all the difference. "Every moment of normal family life we experienced during some of the hardest days of our lives was made possible by people we'll probably never meet," Jasmin says. "If you're one of those people, thank you. Your kindness has meant more to our family than words could ever express."